The Bot Among us
by Darknessxxx
Summary: Neptune has discovered Penny's secret, and insists exposing it!


**The Bot Among Us**

 **Darknessxxx**

* * *

 **Some time ago, on the RT podcast # 436 entitled Solid D (30 minutes in), they mentioned that some things computers have trouble doing. Well...**

 **I don't own RWBY/ RWBY CHIBI.**

* * *

At the Beacon Academy common area, the members of Team RWBY and Team JNPR, as well as Sun and Velvet were sitting around a large table, chatting among themselves, when Neptune ran in.

"Guys!" Neptune called to them as he made his way over. "Guys, I have figured it out!"

"Figured what out?" Sun asked. "Dude, what are you talking about?"

"I have solved the mystery of the year!" Neptune declared.

"Hey Blake," Yang whispered. "Bet ya 10 lien that this is about something stupid."

"Yeah," Blake rolled her eyes at the wager. "I think I'll pass on that."

"I'll take that bet," Weiss said.

"Well don't keep us in suspense!" Sun told Neptune. "What is it?"

"Okay," Neptune placed his hands on the table. "It's about that girl, Penny!"

"Penny is the girl from Atlas right?" Velvet asked. "The one with the pink bow?"

"Right," Neptune said. "And I have discovered her secret!"

Ruby started laughing nervously. "What? Secret? What secret?" she said. "I'm pretty good friends with Penny, and I'd think I'd know if she had some sort of secret!"

Neptune closed his eyes and lowered his head. "I'm sorry to break this to you Ruby but," he said quietly, before slamming the table and looking directly into her eyes. "Your friend, Penny Polendina..."

Everyone looked around, confused. It was Ren who started asking, "Um, why did you..."

"...Is a robot!" Neptune finished.

After a moment of everyone staring at Neptune, dumbfounded, Ruby shrieked "Say wha-t?" And Weiss handed Yang a lien note.

"Come on," Jaune said. "Sure, Penny can be a little... eccentric, but a robot? Don't you think that's a bit far fetched?"

"I have evidence!" Neptune declared, slamming the table again.

"Ooh," Nora squealed. "What kind of evidence?"

"Anecdotal evidence!" Neptune proudly admitted.

"Of course," Ren sighed.

"Exactly one week ago!" Neptune shouted before recalling what he witnessed.

* * *

Neptune was in the library, hiding behind a book. Occasionally, he would poke his fake mustached face out, so he could spy on Penny. From his vantage point, he could see that she was having computer trouble.

"Was that not correct either?" Penny said aloud. "I thought for sure I had it that time." She checked the time being displayed on the bottom corner of the monitor she was using. "Oh my! I must get going, or else I'll be late!" She then gathered her things and left the library.

As she passed him, Neptune quickly ducked behind his book so that only his blue hair was visible. Once he was sure she was gone, he walked over to the computer that she was using and saw hazily displayed on the monitor,

TYPE THE TWO WORDS DISPLAYED

HU _NT_ RESS SP _EA_ R

* * *

"She had been thwarted!" Neptune said. "By something specifically designed to stop robots!"

"That proves nothing!" Ruby said. "I mean, who here can say they never come across an illegible caption? Jaune, I'm looking at you!"

"Those _I_ 's were clearly _L_ 's and those _J_ 's were _Y_ 's!" Jaune said.

"Though I agree that that may be a coincidence" Velvet began. "That's not the only strange thing about her. I remember something happening not too long ago..."

* * *

Velvet was walking down the streets of Vale when she saw Penny talking with a lady in front of a store.

"Excuse me miss," Penny asked the lady. "Could you tell me how much for the doggy in the window, the one that doesn't have a tail?"

"The doggy in the window?" The lady looked confused at Penny's question.

"Or is that doggy not for sale?" Penny asked, disappointing.

"Uh miss," The lady said to her. "This is a bakery."

* * *

"She thought a loaf of bread was a dog!" Velvet concluded.

Neptune silently nodded his head. "That is definitely something a robot would have trouble with," he said.

"I can explain that!" Ruby shouted. "What happened was, one day I was messing around on my scroll when I found this thing about 'Dogs that Look like Food'!"

"Oh, I know about that!" Velvet said.

"Great, so anyway," Ruby continued. "While I was looking at beagles that look like bagels I thought to myself _you know who would like this? My good friend Penny!_ So I showed it to her, we shared a good laugh, and ever since we've been joking about loafs of bread and corgi butts."

Neptune stroked his chin as he pondered her story. "I guess that makes sense," he said.

Ruby let out a sigh of relief when she noticed Weiss glaring at her. "You told _Penny_ about this dog food thing, but not _me!_ " she said. She turned her nose upwards at her, "I don't even know you anymore!"

"While we're on the subject of Penny," Blake said. "The other day, while we were tuning up our weapons...

* * *

"Ah, excellent usage of a whetstone," Professor Port said.

Blake responded with a dull "Mm," which was enough to satisfy Professor Port, who walked away.

As Blake continued sharpening the blade of her Gambol Shroud, she allowed her eyes to wander to her classmates; Ruby, who was using a torque wrench to tighten the screws of her Crescent Rose to specific levels; Yang, who had taken a blowtorch to her Ember Celica; Penny, who was tempering her swords with the lasers being fired from her eyes; Weiss, who had an elaborate setup that she was using too...

Blake quickly paused and turned her attention back to Penny. Immediately noticing the attention, Penny smiled and waved to her. Tentatively Blake waved back.

* * *

"I didn't imagine that right?" Blake asked. "She definitely shot laser beams out of her eyes, right?"

"Now that you mention it, I thought I saw something like that," Ren said.

"You see what I'm talking about?" Neptune said. "Shooting lasers out of their eyes is a total robot thing!"

"Just because it's something that a robot could do, doesn't mean that it's something _only_ a robot could do," Ruby said. "I bet she got DUST in her eye or something. Eye lasers seem totally normal to me."

"Yeah," Yang agreed. "Come back when she's shooting her fist at someone while shouting 'ROCKET PUNCH'!"

Neptune was starting to look dispirited. "Okay, Ruby, you may have a point there," he said. "But I'm still convinced that Penny Polendina is a robot! Because... uh..."

"Oh, oh oh!" Nora shouted, waving her hand in the air. "I have a theory!"

Neptune excitedly turned to her, "Yes, Nora? You have something to say?"

Nora began smiling deviously. "Okay, so, the other day, I was hanging out with Ciel..."

* * *

"You start by getting a stopwatch, preferably digital, with as many decimal points as you can, the more the better," Ciel was explaining to Nora.

"Gotcha!" Nora said. "Gotta get me a watch with lots of digits!"

"Right," Ciel said. "The point is to start the time, then stop it exactly one second later." She took her personal stopwatch and handed to Nora. "Here, give it a try."

"Ooh, don't mind if I do," Nora said, taking the stopwatch. She started the watch and stopped it a soon after. "There!"

Ciel looked over Nora's shoulder to see the resulting 00:00.8173. "That's pretty close," Ciel said.

Nora grunted in annoyance. "Here, let me try that again!" She restarted the stopwatch and started it again. "Gotcha!" she said to the resulting 00:01.1827.

"That's also pretty good," Ciel told Nora.

"Ga!" Nora grunted again. She handed the stopwatch back to Ciel. "Here, you do it."

Ciel reset the watch, and then stopped it. It showed 00:01.0000.

"Wow, you're really good at that!" Nora said.

"Well, I have been doing this for a while," Ciel told her.

"Do it again!" Nora instructed her. Ciel then started the watch again and stopped it at 00:02.0000. "Again!" Nora said. "Keep going until you miss!"

Ciel went on starting the watch and stopping it at 00:03.0000, 00:04.0000...

* * *

"She went on like that until it stopped showing the milliseconds," Nora said.

Everyone stared at her expectantly. "Okay," Sun said. "And...?"

"My theory," Nora said. "Is that they're _both_ robots! And Atlas has some sort of robot student conspiracy going on!"

"Of course!" Neptune said. "That way everything falls into place! The way they act! How they're always being escorted by Atlesian Knights! Everything!"

Jaune suddenly started stood up and loudly said, "Okay, that's enough!" His sudden change in demeanor got everyone's attention. "Seriously think about what you're considering here! And even if it was true, would that change your opinion on them?"

Neptune, Velvet, Blake, and Nora, who had spoken up against Penny, bashfully hung their heads.

"Yeah, you're right," Neptune said, slumping into an open seat. "I was probably overreacting."

"Overreacting to what?" suddenly hearing Penny's voice caused everyone to jump.

"Ack! Penny! Why do you have to keep sneaking up people?" Ruby asked.

"I'm sorry," Penny said. "I guess I'm just naturally light on my feet. Anyway, what is everyone talking about?"

"Talking about? Right, we were just talking about..." Neptune stammered for a reasonable answer.

While he stalled, Pyrrha's nose started to twitch. "Achoo!" She sneezed, and any loose metallic objects flew off.

"Whoa!" Penny screamed, as she too was blown away.

"I'm sorry!" Pyrrha called to her. She turned back and said, "There's likely a reasonable explanation for what just happened right?"

"Yeah! Totally! Completly normal!"


End file.
